Required to Live
by Shami
Summary: Just another shugo chara fic! Amuto // Ikuto x Amu. Sorry for not writing in awhile guys!
1. Chapter 1

I'm sorry guys. I haven't written anything in a long time.

You see, I've never been impressed with my writing, always trying to improve. I always had failed. I think now, I finally have found the kind of writing I need- To finally get where I want to be with my writing.

Thanks for all of the feedback you have given me on my previous stories, which I hope to soon continue.

I don't own Shugo Chara.

---

It was hopeless,

I was useless,

I am lost.

Life just doesn't feel the same anymore, Is it worth living?

It wasn't until recently, that I had begun to feel this way. Memories disappearing, my thoughts being wiped away. I knew then, that It had happened. 

Back in the end of August, I had always had a peculiar interest with the wind- The sun- The stars.

Right now, I miss the sight of the stars, the warmth of the sun~ and as well the soft breeze that I received from the wind.

You probably have no Idea what I mean, confusion, and curiosity is most likely what you sense right now. That's right.

---

I was walking home from school again; Now being in the second year of Middle School. I sighed, the way I normally did, when I hadn't an Idea of what to do. Arriving home, I flopped onto my bed, and closed my eyes. It was time to think.

Last week I had moved away from my parents house… From my mother, my father… and my little sister.

_**We had a fight.**_

Its been pulling me apart- Needing to move away from home at the Age of 14. I stared over at the open glass window, waiting for his return. The breeze chilled me, made me want to close it- but I couldn't. It must wait.

Hours past, nobody came. I hesitated for a moment, but then shamefully closed the door.

"Where are you?" I asked myself aloud, failing to retrieve any answers from the lingering air around me. That's when It hit me. Flat in the face, actually.

'It wasn't right'

I sat up again, looking over at the now shut glass door. The trees outside swayed slowly, back and fourth. I felt dizzy, just like last time. I slowly lowered myself downwards, trying to prevent myself from passing out, when I heard it. That noise. I slightly smiled, at the sound of the door opening, and those quiet footsteps rushing over to me, making sure, no, Insuring that I was alright.

I felt shaking, my vision was black- I was out.

"A-Amu!" The voice quietly, but meaningfully spoke.

---

My eyes slowly fluttered open, seeing one in front of me, or beside me if you counted the fact that my head was sideways. His hand was placed on my forehead, I felt it. His hands were cold.

"Are you alright…? You seem overheated, yet it is freezing in here." They said, then I leaned myself over to give him a tight hug.

"You came… Thank you." I whispered to them, then rested the side of my head on his shoulder. Bits of his hair covered my face.

"Of course I did, I promised you." He smiled, then moved one of his arms on top of my head. I didn't say anything after that for awhile, I wasn't sure what to say. 

I sighed in my head, I had looked over at my clock. It was already 11:30 PM. I had been out for five and a half hours, worrying the hell out of Ikuto. It wasn't like he really cared though- He just was here, because I asked him too be here- as simple as that. 

"Ikuto?" I asked, waiting for him to eventually reply.

"Yeah?" He seemed to wonder, what I had been requesting. 

"Why are you always here? To protect me- to help me, when I need it?" I asked. I wanted the truth; I was ready.

"…Because Amu, …" He stopped. To me, It seemed like he was trying to find the correct words to phrase this answer right.

"Because, I love you Amu." He replied, then a small smirk that said 'I'm not lying, and you know it.', I smiled.

"I… Love you too, Ikuto." I said, then wondering what to say next. "But- You were there when, I needed the most help. Why where you… there?" Ikuto shuffled his lower body, turning to face me a bit more.

---

"_No! I wont do it!" Amu shouted, then ran to her room. He father quickly chased after her. "Yes you will! Obey me now, Or leave this world!" He shouted, waving a deadly, steel knife around. _"_I don't understand- Why?!" She backed away, hitting her bedroom door. She quickly swung around, opening the door, then slamming it shut. She did not want him- to enter this room. _

_She sobbed, until her throat was sore- her face was wet and red, just waiting for him to enter. She was glad that, her mother was not here, that her sister was not here. They didn't need to get harmed, on her account._

_The doorknob quickly turned, revealing Amu's dad behind it when it swung open. She had never seen suck anger in his face before, not in his words, nor the expressions he was showing when he spoke to her. She had collapsed onto her bed, waiting for that painful death that would soon complete her, what her life was made to end at. There was no turning point from here, none at all._

"_I can still stop this, if you do what I say! This doesn't need to happen!" Her dad said, lightly quieter than he had previously spoken._

_I sat there, staring at him as he inched closer, with the shining knife still in his hands. If I refused, I had no other option but to die- But If I had agreed, worse consequences would befall me. _

"_No! I refuse! I will not- Do something for a horrible person like you! Especially because of how you treat me, what you have done to yourself, me, and my mother!" She yelled back at him, just waiting for herself to feel the pain, of the blade piercing her heart, of the scene of her blood dripping away from her limp body. She would rather die, than continue what had been done to her, the last three months._

_---_

_It was in may sometime. When my mother and father's divorce was finished. I remembered that quite clearly. I wasn't allowed to leave my father. He wouldn't let me, neither would the court. I knew this would happen. Ami and my mother, they are safe. That is all the mattered. Ami was unharmed, while my mother- it was unspeakable what he had done to her. I shall not mention it, not a single word. None._

_---_

_The current situation is what puzzled me, seeing my father go out on such a murderous rage. It has never happened, this bad before. I wish not right now, to mention why._

_-_

_My heart raced, seeing him lift his arm upwards, getting ready to plunge into me. It was unbearable, but I needed to withstand it, the pain. I was ready for it. I have been… even before. When I knew._

"_Then Die!" He shouted, lunging the knife downwards. I closed my eyes. I did not feel any pain, I could not hear. I could not see- even with my eyes open._

_---_

"I knew what was happening to you, I have known, for quite awhile." He looked upset, as if he wanted to help me sooner than he already did. " I wished, to save you earlier. To help you, before he had gotten this far." He looked down. "But- there was nowhere, where you could have been safe until now. I am sorry." He said at last.

_---_

_It was my end, right now. I felt the life drain out of me, I was weak. My scars from my punishments the hour before had not ached anymore, not could I feel anything else. I could see._

_In front of me, was him. The one with Blue hair- who I could not remember at this time. He had blocked the attack on me, with himself. He bled, from his arm that was stabbed, the wound was highly unnerving. It didn't seem right._

_Before I knew it, He had picked me up, and had begun carrying me away from that horrible place, where my murderer- would have been._

_---_


	2. Chapter 2

Well, sorry for the really late chapter. I had computer issues. I'll try to get at least one chapter a week out from now, since it should be fixed now. :D

Neji0392 (and if anyone else may have said similar things) - Actually, I've noticed, too, that there are several stories like that. So instead of turning this into that kind of story, I want to do something around halfway through to change that part. (I wouldn't want to spoil anything other than that though.~) But I certainly would have to agree with you.

Anyways, I don't own Shugo Chara~

---

It wasn't like that- no not at all. I couldn't have done it.. Those horrible things? It didn't sound like me… but rather, someone completely different.

---

Ikuto was still here, comforting me. I hadn't realized it, but it had already been a few hours since I had woken up, leading us into the new day.

"Ikuto…" I slowly said, slightly yawning.

"Hmm?" He replied, just seconds later.

"You should sleep…" I said to him, knowing that he had been up for probably eight hours or so just watching over me.

"I won't sleep… Until you are better." Ikuto then said, seemingly stubborn. I did not reply. He sounded tired- and would fall asleep soon. I knew that.

---

It was morning, I had not noticed that I had fallen asleep, not until I had woken up myself. Ikuto was still asleep.

I smiled gently, trying to hide my curiosity. It had been awhile since I had seen him sleeping; He was so wonderful.

I got up, and decided it would be best to make some kind of breakfast for us to eat. I felt slightly light headed, and grabbed a hold of the countertop beside me. I felt as if, my body had been taken over by a completely different person.

---

"_What? Ohnonono! I didn't mean that…" I heard; the Vision was a little blurry. I couldn't exactly make out the person. It was a girl, that was obvious. I looked deeper, noticing that It was me, talking. Ikuto was leaning over me. That smirk of his, was there of course._

"_Aw. Are you sure…?" Ikuto quietly said, noticeably trying to sound sad. He leaned a bit closer, Causing me to blush._

_This confused me- the me right now, because, I did not recognize this event, yet… it looked so recent. I looked the same, sounded the same. So did Ikuto._

"_Y-Yes!" I shouted, closing my eyes. At this point, my face was all red. _

"…_Oh well." Ikuto said, then gently grabbed my chin in place, he lightly pecked at my lips, as I for some reason hesitated to push him away. He finished a minute or so later, his smirk wider than before; Looking as if he could burst out laughing at any second- And he did.--_

_---_

I regained myself again; Wondering something. I gasped as I noticed a possibility in what could be happening, and almost wished to die, as I was not lying on the floor, crying.

I hoped that I would not wake Ikuto up. I couldn't silence myself, no matter what I had tried. The tears kept coming, and the feeling got worse.

"I-It… can't be true…" I whispered to myself, attempting to calm myself down. I did not know what was happening- But it was gone - _I _was gone.

_---_

Seemed… like the end. I couldn't understand, at all. My mind buzzed with confusion, yet… I knew something, yet I still did not. Ikuto walked into the room. I noticed, that he was still tired.

"You… should go bac-"

"What's wrong? I heard you crying…." He trailed off, staring at me. His eyes, filled with terror- Myself… was destroyed, with that single look.

"A-Amu…? You…You're not Amu… Who are you?" He said, cautiously kneeling down.

"..What?" I said, and simply looked up at him. "I am… Amu…?"

I am Amu.

Or… at least, I _was_.

I moved myself so I was facing Ikuto directly, and stared into his deep blue eyes. I saw confusion, but I also saw, understanding. Why? Did he think I was still Amu, even If I wasn't right now? Maybe… that's the truth.

I moved my hand, to pull my hair in front of me, to see it- to make sure…

But It remained untouched. Healthy, Pale pink hair.

"Are you?" Ikuto asked, looking back at me. I wasn't sure! What to say? Lying wasn't good- but is it lying, if you truly do not know?

"I don't know…" I slowly replied. Ikuto's hand was placed on my shoulder.

"What do you remember?" Ikuto asked, as if he thought that he could figure this all out with a single question.

I closed my eyes, trying to remember… the last part of my life.

"I remember… running… from someone. My house, in the hallways… by my father? … I was cornered onto the bed…" I stopped. Nothing came to me after that.

"…Your father…?" Ikuto fell into a 'mode of think', and seemed unsure. "I don't think… you are Amu." He said, several minutes later. "However… you look like her, sound like her… but you don't act like her. I think that… you are a completely different person."

---

It was dark… cold… silent. I couldn't move, there was a sharp pain in my chest… I wasn't 'breathing', Yet was still Alive?

It didn't make any sense. The silence was broken, by a memory. A childhood? …Something… I did not remember.

---

_The little girl span around, in circles… over, and over again. Eventually, she fell over into the sand, laughing. She closed her eyes, hiding them away from the setting sun._

Was this me?

_She smiled… Her short pink hair was covered in sand, and was filled with it. It was awhile, but she got up. Slowly, she walked over to the swings, and just sat there. Maybe she was 6? Nobody was with her, completely alone. She just sat there, motionless, looking up into the darkening sky- until the last ray of sun was eaten away by the mountains. She then, went home._

_---_

'_Was this me?' I thought, trying to get up again. I barely made it, but I was up- seeing almost nothing but darkness, except a faint white light coming from my right. I stared at it for a moment. I shortly began shuffling myself over to it, it became brighter… and brighter…_

_---_

_See you next chapter!~ I'll do my best to have the next out in a couple days._


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